Round 5

     

 And lots of time it has been.  We passed the 3 year mark last week.  I actually didn't "celebrate it" but it did bring a twinge of pain to think... wow 3 years and all we have is a whole lot of heartache, lots of stories, and more strength and courage than I ever thought possible.

I started my pill lack of birth control last week and today was my last day! Yippee I successfully made it. 21 pills in 3 days and I didn't even puke.  This must be a good sign right?  On Saturday I started my shots, lupron shots every morning.  Now I sit and wait again for my next period... So might I request a quick little prayer again for good ole Aunt Flo to arrive at the very latest Saturday.  According to the nurse 3-5 days from tonight she'll be here!  

I'm guessing that the way my stomach feels and looks,  it should be coming soon.  

I've been thinking a lot about what if this actually works... And I cannot help but smile and cry at the same time.  The feelings are so raw and I'm more sad and scared then ready and excited.  It's my one protection to guard myself and not get too excited just in case I'm let down.  It's the pessimist in me but after 5 losses this is what I do.  I little ray of hope in my heart thinks that this is it though.  Keep praying you guys!!  You'll know the power of prayer is an amazing thing and the power of prayer we need to create and bring these little miracle babies home.  In T-minus 1 month Matt and I are hoping to hear happy news instead of heartache!!!!