Two Sundays ago we found out that we had four embryos with the possibility of two more maybe making it. I was a little disappointed we didn't have more but figured that was probably about right since we only had 12 embryos that had made it. Fast forward to the next day and while trying to pull out of our garage my hormones got the best of me and I literally turned into a monster.
Matt stayed home from work because we had a bad snow storm and was watching me angrily pull out of the garage. HE had pulled too close to the side so I had to pull the Austen powers back and forth back and forth move to maneuver my way out. Well needless to say words were exchanged that neither of us could hear ( he was standing in the doorway and I was in the car). I finally resorted to flipping him the bird, shutting the garage, and pulling away. On my drive about 15 minutes later he called my cell phone and asked me if I was ok and we laughed... Silly me it must have been my raging hormones.
I got the confirmation call later that morning that only 4 had made it. Anger from earlier turned into sadness and tears and I felt like all day I had a frog in my throat choking back a tear here and there. I took a few seconds for myself at work and came to the conclusion I didn't want to go through another round of in vitro and Matt and I needed a serious chat.
We sat down Monday night and both expressed what we were feeling. Anger, sadness, disappointment... We decided that instead of batching this cycle with another we were just going to test the 4 embryos and wait and see if we have any embryos.
We decided that while waiting, instead of wasting time, I would start my trial cycle again to determine the best and most appropriate day to implant an embryo and see how things shake out. And if no embryos make it this round it's back to baby making the natural way. One of matts friends inappropriately calls it "fucking season!" Although we would love a baby either way Matt was a little more excited for the possibility of "f***ing " season than another round of in vitro!
So I have an appointment tomorrow for blood and an ultrasound to get the hopefully go ahead to start pills and then more shots again while we wait for the dreaded call... We shall see how many embryos come out of this batch but if I had to go with my gut it would be a big fat ZERO. One can only hope right....
0 comments:
Post a Comment