It's funny how things work out sometimes. I continue to ask god why he has put Matt and I through so many struggles. I keep wondering when it will be our turn to introduce one of our own beautiful children to the world. I keep thinking that he has given me/us this struggle to let go of the things in life that we cannot control.
I find myself always trying to control or have things just the way I want it. A little too much type A personality even though to some I appear relaxed. It's more of a personal quiet battle, one my husband knows all to well.
It makes me laugh a little, cry a lot, and pout even more thinking that maybe this is gods way of once again showing me to relax , let go, and quit trying to control or "create" a perfect child. I'm now questioning whether or not we jumped the gun a little and instead of trying to control and fix my genetic problem I should have just continued to try naturally like most normal human beings and let god lead the way and provide me with a child...
Oh well a little too late for that. So now we are back to square one. Right where we started 2.5 years ago. It's a little exciting to once again enjoy and not fear having sex with my husband. Unfortunately once we committed to the genetic testing part of in vitro it put a HUGE damper on the ole sex life... Poor Matt ! Poor me! But now we are back and ready to give it another try. After all that is where babies SHOULD come from right?
So I probably won't have much to say on my blog. I mean it's pretty simple... Have sex, wait, miss period, take pregnancy test, and hope for one that sticks!!!! Easier said than done however. Hopefully I won't have too many miscarriages and my mind and body are able to support our decision to try again naturally.
So yet again we start another adventure. This one is just a little scarier than my other one. It's simply in gods hands and not my own. I cannot control my destiny but hopefully our decision will bring home a little bundle of joy.
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