5 and 6 weeks old

I didn't get around to posting last week so this week is a combined 5 and 6 week old update.  My sweet baby girls are getting bigger by the day and I don't know how I feel about.  I told Matt last week that finally in my life I'm not living in the future but rather in the moment.  For the last few years or practically my whole life I have always looked to the future... To the "what's next month, what's next year, what is the next big thing to happen, etc." but for now I'm living, in the moment, taking one day at a time and I'm totally ok with it.  

I have thought about the future a little bit.  When and how long will our next baby or babies take.  Will we try next year naturally or will we skip that route and head straight down the in vitro route. I'm giving myself one year at least and then on to baby making whatever that road may be.  

The girls had their 1 month checkup last week and they both are doing great.  They both are 21.75 inches long.  Maddie weighed 7.8 lbs and Emma weighed 7.7 lbs.  so needless to say my breast combo / formula is working.  They needed to gain 19 oz and they gained 18 !  So albeit they are little and only in the 6-7% for their weight they are gaining weight just as they should. 

So how is life?  6 weeks of having twins and well we are surviving.  My mom came to help after Maddie was in the hospital.  I really needed the hell then to get back on my feet.  I've been trying as hard as I can to solely do everything but once I get behind its hard to catch up.  Feeding and holding these girls is a full time job, then throw grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, time with my hubby, and a little me time and it's a packed packed schedule.  I'm used to having a lot of down time but we don't have much of that these days.  Hence why the blog post is so late.  

So I bet your wondering.... Life with twins... How is it.  Well honestly it's great and then it's not.  When it's great it's great and when it's not it's not.  The hardest part is when both babies are crying and I (or Matt) have to console two and like babies they just keep crying!!!  Sometimes I think it's because I'm breastfeeding them and don't produce enough milk so they are hungry.  Then j get mad at myself because I don't want to give them formula yet my boobs are empty because they have literally sucked them flat and I'm tired of hearing them cry.  These are the bad days.  And the good, oh my heavens are they good.  The girls cuddle, they play, they smile, they nurse, and they barely cry.  But that's not reality of one baby not two.  So just like any new mom I am riding the roller coaster of trying to decipher which baby is crying, what she meds, chasing binkies in mouths, and totally overwhelmingly loving all of it!    Here are some pictures because I know how much you all love the pictures ! 

Melt my heart... They were holding each other to sleep.  They do that a lot. 

They are getting much more alert so we have play time on the play mat. 

Hehe

Sleeps like her mommy... Mouth wide open!  (It's Emma)

And this one ... She is looking more and more like Matt.  (It's Maddie)