HCG #2

Sooo I'm still pregnant!  The number was great, 8185.  You want your HCG to double every 2-3 days, so my number did!  One more positive direction towards the end goal.  We have our next appointment next Thursday to ensure the embryo implanted in the correct location (the uterus) and possibly to learn if there will be one or two. A little weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and instead of day by day, I can now take it week by week.  Tomorrow marks 5 weeks, so only 33 more to go!!!

HCG # 1

I had my blood drawn on Tuesday morning.  Guess What?  It was positive!  The number was 2,222!  Which 22 happens to be my lucky number so maybe just maybe this is another positive sign.  They want the HCG level over 100, so it was a great number.  I didn't cheat and take an at home pregnancy test, so I was totally in the dark as to whether or not this round of ivf had worked.  Matt stayed home with me, so we listened to the voicemail message from the nurse together.  When she said it was positive, I cried.  Tears of happiness this time and not tears of grief.  We go back on Friday to make sure the number is continuing to rise and things continue to move in a positive direction.

Although I know the feeling all too well of a positive pregnancy test (I've had six now), I am hoping this is the one.  Matt and I keep asking very loudly... "Come on, one time". Anyways I'll keep you all posted but step #1 was good.  Oh and thanks so much for the prayers, candles lit, and anything else ya'll are doing for us. Keep them coming!

PUPO

In the world of infertility I currently am "pregnant until proven otherwise...with twins!"

Of course I had a horrible nightmare last night that we didn't have any embryos to implant.  Thank god that was not true.  We had 7 to choose from and we were able to implant two.  

It's always sooo awkward to sit spread eagle in the stirrups in front of your husband, the nurse, the doctor, and the embryologist in order to get "knocked up" but in desperation I will do whatever it takes to get pregnant.  We told Dr. Miller no pressure but he better get it right!  He's such a positive guy and had a good laugh with us.  

So now we wait.... 2 weeks and counting.  I'm laying low and Matt's playing an excellent murse (male nurse if you didn't know what that means).  You can see him above slaving away with tonight dinner... 7 pounds of pork butt.  What else are you going to do besides eat, sleep, read, and watch tv when you're trying to get pregnant the unconventional way.  Let's hope this really is the one.  One or two we don't care.... We would just love to have babies soon.  

I gave it all I had!

As you all know Matt and I love to find as much humor in this ivf process so after he had to provide a cough cough little special spermy sample he told me he gave it all that he had!  I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants but thank god because out of the 30 eggs we had,  22 of them were mature enough to implant and 19 of them fertilized!  Hopefully they continue to grow so we can have enough embryos to implant to continue to grow our troop one day!  At this rate I told Matt for every miscarriage I have had it makes me want to have that many kids so I keep praying we are going to have enough embryos to implant to have at least 3 or 4 and maybe even more if the Mr. Would let it happen!  Anyways it looks like Thursday is the big day!  We'll keep ya'll posted.

They're Here!!

8 months later we finally have 30 beautiful eggs in our possession. It feels a little funny that this time we paid for a baby momma to provide something for us rather than me going through the whole ivf procedure, but we did it and we are here!  So now we wait until tomorrow to see how many of the 30 eggs were mature enough to fertilize and how many fertilized with Matt's little swimmers.

Sorry I didn't update throughout the week.  It was a crazy hectic week and I was too nervous to think that something might go wrong.  All is well for now, and we will either be implanting on Tuesday or Thursday.  I had an appointment to check my hormones and endometrial lining.  Things look great and my endometrial lining looks like a comfy pillow for those embryos to nestle into for a nice 10 month nap!

I cannot believe we are here.  Last night before bed Matt and I talked a little about what is about to come, and I got very sad and tearful. Sad because I am going on a leap of faith and potentially bringing babies that are not genetically mine into this world. And a little sad because if this doesn't work this really is our last chance for me to carry babies in my own belly.  I'm trying to stay positive and not think about the sad things but for all the joy and happiness I feel it is masked with fear and hesitation.  

I spent this week hanging out with some beautiful babies... A 3 month old little girl and a 3 week old baby.  It was nice to hear baby giggles, get some baby snuggles, and remind myself once again that once I catch the end of the rainbow I too can have that.  I believe in good mojo so I can only imagine how the good baby mojo only helped in the end process here.  I needed that.  So now we wait, again. Anticipating how many embryos will make it and how many I will get to implant.  Please pray for strength in numbers that we end up with at least enough embryos to complete our beautiful family someday.  We'll keep you all posted!  Until then keep your fingers crossed and your prayers coming!!!