How do you put into words how precious life is... Words just don't do it justice. I've had many tears over the past week and a half feeling just so happy and sad that our "journey" of the road less traveled has ended with the most precious gift from God. I've cried so hard because I'm just so happy to have had the chance to birth these beautiful babies. I've cried so hard because 5 precious little lives never made it, one big enough I physically got to hold. And I've cried just to cry because let's face it I'm a hormonal wreck.
I decided after I started my last round of in vitro that I was going to save all of the needles from my last round of in vitro and all of the daily/weekly shots and take a picture with them surrounding the babies. I saw a similar picture that went viral on the Internet and thought it was really inspiring. That someone could go through so much physical and emotional pain to get what they wanted. So here's my last round, surrounding my babies.. Babies I can hold, laugh with, cry with, and mother for the rest of my life.
I can't really explain how greatful I am that Madelyn and Emma are here but I don't think I could have done it without all of the support from so many people over the years. I'm realizing though that as much as I felt sad, so many people felt sad for Matt and I too. My dad told me when he was home with me last week that he's never cried so much in his life. He told me that he is so proud of Matt and I for persevering our dreams to become parents. For a man that I've seen cry only enough to count on one hand like most men, I realized then that we were not alone in the sadness... Talk about wanting to just drop down and cry like a baby right then and there. However I quitely weeped tears next to him and told him I was happy that we didn't give up too.
Its unbelievable how many beautiful cards of encouragement and beautiful gifts we have received. Although the gifts are extremely nice to me the sentiment behind the gift is what truly means the most. That we finally get to celebrate... Celebrate life! Celebrate a victory! Celebrate just beginning of the best adventure to come.
I used to have a favorite day... My wedding day! Now I can say the birth date of Madelyn and Emma is my favorite. Not because it was fun... Hello a c-section and being ripped open to pull out two kids is not enjoyable but it has brought so much joy and once again renewed my life and brought my true smile back....the one I lost for a while. So please keep following our journey. It's not over yet. It's just the beginning.
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