A while back I posted about how it's always someone else. Well it happened again. Last night I had a work meeting and before my meeting I was with a few girls in our managers office. Our manager said "well Elvia has something she would like to share with everybody. " That pit in my stomach, that feeling that I hate, I already knew before she even opened her mouth that she was pregnant.
It took all of my might to one not smack the shit out of her and two, not to open my mouth and say some words I would one day regret. Of course it would have made me feel a hell of a lot better but instead, just like the other girls I hugged her and said congratulations with the shittiest grin on my face.
So why be mad, people get pregnant all the time? I'm mad because this chick spreads her legs and gets knocked up by her damn boyfriend. I get it, it's 2015 and people don't believe in the Christian way of life but I do! Why is it ok that this can happen to her and not me. I try every avenue sex, no sex, ivf with genetic testing, sex, ivf with a donor and NOTHING just nothing.
The catcher.... She's 18 weeks! She was too embarrassed and scared to tell everyone so she's been keeping it a secret. You guys.... I nearly lost my mind when she said that. Of course you should be embarrassed! Of course you should be ashamed. You just told an infertile lady you accidentally got pregnant. Those words burn like sweat in your eyes after a long hot run.
What happened to the normal life pattern. So in essence I'm glad I hid behind my poker face because I don't think she would have been able to handle the kind of hateful truthful words I really wanted to share with her but that's life right now.
Only a true infertile woman can understand what this feels like. Just needed to vent! Thanks for listening as always 😳
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