One hurdle at a time...

I've reached a new milestone in this pregnancy, I've successfully made it past the day I previously went into labor 3 years ago.  I don't talk in detail about that day very often and only the very few close to me know how much it has really affected me but today I will celebrate this milestone and praise God for getting us past this first hurdle.  

Each day and each week I am more thankful that I get the chance to grow and nurture two beautiful miracles inside of me.  Each day and each week also come with a lot of anxiety and fear.  Fear that it will end just as abruptly as it did but in my heart and with all of the people praying and pulling for these two precious little miracles I think they are going to make it!  

I often daydream about the day that I will be able to hold a child.  It's something I yearn for so bad.  It's been 3.5 years since Matt and I started this journey of growing our family.  Instead of baby laughs and sounds of crying children it's been many days of silence and tears.  Not always but on the hardest days it seems like it.  I am sure once we have twins and our house is filled with two crying babies and I'm at my wits end that I will yearn for silence but as the saying goes ... The grass is always greener on the other side right.  So for now I'll keep dreaming of gut busting baby giggles, snugly little infants, and enjoying friends and families babies until Matt and I have our own.